‘Half n Half’

Half ‘n’ Half – A Musical by Tim Riley

“I am currently writing the first draft of this project which will be ready to workshop from Autumn 2012 onwards.  Read on for a sneak preview of what it’s all about!” Tim Riley

Half ‘n’ Half is a musical which celebrates the Great British Curry.  The show  explores through humour, music and dance, the unique fusion of Anglo/Asian culture that has brought about a Curry House on the high street of every town in Britain. In Half ‘n’ Half, Indian food is served up as a wonderfully rich metaphor through which to explore the nature of cultural identity and ‘Britishness’.

It’s 1986 and the ‘Taj Mahal – Tandoori Restaurant and Take Away’ is just one of many similar establishments in Cowbridge Road, Cardiff.  Locals often comment that it’s a wonder that they can all manage to exist side by side.  Ali the proprietor of the Taj Mahal is of the same opinion.  Business is terrible.

Service in the restaurant at the hands of head waiter, Omah is eccentric to say the least, and the décor is still stuck in the seventies with no money to do the place up.  However the food is good.  Fat Frank, their best customer, eats there every single day of the week, and twice on Saturdays. Despite this steady trickle of income from Frank and a few other regulars, Ali despairs of ever making enough money to retire and return to his family in Bangladesh.  

Ali is further hampered by the arrival of a mysterious nephew, Shithil.  Ali doesn’t really need a new waiter; however out of family duty he welcomes the boy. Omah the head waiter takes an immediate dislike to Shithil.  He suspects the boy is being groomed as a cheap family replacement for him.

However these tensions must be put on a back burner to simmer awhile with the arrival of an even larger storyline  – Mr Bajar and his two sons Babur and Balkar – ‘The Balti Boys from Brum’. 

Mr Bajar is something of a local celebrity in Birmingham.  He claims to have discovered Balti.  Balti is the new Pakistani (not Bangladeshi!)  food craze that has gripped Birmingham.  Buoyed with success he is now in Cardiff looking for a new location to roll out his Balti empire nationwide.

He makes Ali an offer he can’t refuse for the Taj Mahal.  Ali, more out of resentment against the Pakistanis than sound business sense, turns down the offer and shows the ‘Balti Boys’ the door.

Further confrontation, singing and Bollywood style dancing ensue…

During the course of the musical we will grapple with the following key questions:

Why do the Balti Boys need the Taj Mahal when there are so many other locations to choose from?

How much fatter can Fat Frank get by Act Two?

For what purpose is Shithil trained in the ancient martial art of ‘Naan Jitsu’?

Does Ali really pay his one-armed Tandoori Chef, Abdul half as much as the other staff?

We shall later discover that there are two ‘Shithils’. Which one is the real one?

What is the ‘Golden Balti Dish of Baldar’ and more to the point, where is it?

But the biggest question of all:

Is there really only one big pot of curry sauce in every Indian restaurant?

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JamieandLouiseInterview . Click on the link to hear an interview about ‘Half n Half with Jamie Owen on Radio Wales (Spring 2011).